9 Ways To Stop Feeling Angry And Get What You Actually Want!
By- Shreya Sharma
Anger is what we express through words or body language. In that zone of anger, we usually end up doing or saying things that we will not do or say otherwise and haunt us for years. When anger takes over you, it is better you take a back seat to avoid the path of destruction. We all feel anger and that is easy, but to be angry with the right person, at the right time, and for the right purpose and in a right way, is not easy. Here are 9 ways to stop feeling angry and get what you want.
Question your anger
Your anger should never be mistaken for you. It is just temporary body energy. So whenever you feel this energy, a question like; “Why do I listen to you?” “Why are you here?” “Why are you trying to protect me?”
Count to three rule
Whenever anger strikes you, it is better you hit a pause and count to three, to calm yourself down. Before saying anything that you might regret, it is better you count slowly to three. Anger is a physical anger and three deep breaths will slow your metabolism and lower your anger energy. This will naturally calm you down.
Learn from the ghost
Whenever you argue, your source of anger is not the reason for argument but a buildup you have since long. Your anger is because of many reasons and not just one small single thing. When you feel anger, look for the ghost reason that triggered you to explode. Think for the real reason, your deeper frustration or sorrow. Once you understand the ghost reason, only then engage in your anger.
Change your expectation
If we change our expectations and understand, it will be harder for us to blame people. The moment you understand that we all have our stories and circumstances that make us work in a certain direction, it will be easy for us to not get angry.
Release anger by expressing it safely
Release your anger safely so that it does not take over our mind and choices. Write down all that is making you feel jealous in a letter. Write it down till you feel physically and emotionally exhausted and then walk to a quiet place and burn it safely. This way you will vent out your anger in an effective manner.
Turn off the projector
Our feelings get a boost when we see a behavior of our own which we are not proud of, in our kids, partner or lover. It is like seeing a projection of our worst aspects on someone else. Look what you find awkward in that other person, then turn off the projector and think how you can work on that.
Find your way forward
The next time you feel the energy of anger taking over you before you burst out, it is better you step aside and see what is on the other side. See if you can find any positive side to every negative point that is firing the spark in you.
Replay to get context
When you snap or show your anger on someone, and you know your existing condition, it could be stress, fear, frustration or anything. Simply let the person you are angry at know about this. If you are not sure of your context, then rewind back and think of what made you so angry.
Take it towards good
If you yourself are the victim or genuine abuse, then your anger may be the booster rocket to get you out of a destructive situation. But when you have common self-righteous anger – maybe you feel insulted or dismissed or ignored or diminished – then that anger is about preserving or bolstering some notion of “you”.