7 Things To Remember On Your First Night Of Arranged Marriage

Marriage in India is one big affair. That one month of preparation, 3-4 days of rituals and finally the D-day comes. With all the excitement the rituals take place, in a hushed voice the groom and the bride are teased about their first night. after so much of hoopla and excitement, comes the much teased about “First Night”. These are the things to remember on your first night of arranged marriage.

1. It is nothing like depicted in Bollywood movies and daily soaps

We all have seen Bollywood movies and daily soaps where it is all fancy and beautifully decorated room. The groom gets into room, locks it and things. But it is nothing like that. You are so tired and exhausted with that 3 daylong celebration that you will certainly not wait for the night in those heavy lehngas and shervanis. It is not that complicated.

2. It might be awkward

It is not only you who is nervous or feeling shy, your partner too will be having the same feelings. It is normal to feel shy and embarrassed. Talk with your partner to lessen this awkward atmosphere.

3. Voice your opinion

Do not act like a demure, shy bride if you do not feel so. It is healthy and important to be open and voice what you want. If you do not want the final action to happen at that moment then it is better to say that.

4. It is not just about sex

First night is associated with a notion of “sex” though it is not the case. A marriage is based and built on trust and emotional intimacy, connecting on a mental level is as important as connecting on a physical level.

5. You may not consummate on your wedding night

You are so tired with all the rituals and celebrations that it is normal not to consummate on your wedding night. It is okay to just talk and cuddle and have a little foreplay if you are comfortable.  You have many more amazing nights to come, it is just a beginning.

6. Remove all the pins locked in your head

Make sure you remove all those 100s and 1000s of hair pins locked in your head before going to bed. You will certainly not wish to be distracted by a sudden painful poke or tug at your scalp just as you’re getting started.

7. Forget about your phone

It is one thing you must remember. It is your time with your partner. Do not kill it by using your cell phone or by checking every notification as and when it pops. It is fine you are nervous enough and your phone can help you rescue the nervousness but DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE. Instead talk with your partner to jerk away that awkward-ness.